How many emails did you just scroll past inviting you to “treat yourself” or indulge in a little “self care”?
Marketers love to tell us something we already know: Moms need — and deserve! — a break. But when you unpack these promotions even a tiny bit, you can see how hollow it is. Just like seemingly everything else on our plates, moms are being asked to do all the legwork to find (or, even more accurately, buy) that calm and balance we so desperately want in our lives.
And then it dawns on you: What if motherhood has turned into the biggest marketing campaign of them all?
Yes, the Motherhood Industrial Complex is real. And it’s infuriating. It’s the system that profits from moms’ exhaustion — selling them the illusion of balance, self care, and “having it all” while doing nothing to actually support them.
At a time when we’re all inundated by holiday deals, I figured we’d spend this edition of The First Word to call out the hypocrisy of a system that admits moms are overworked and under-supported only to convince them they still haven’t done or bought enough.
Selling Motherhood
Moms deserve some “me time,” right? Who’s going to argue with that?
And marketers have just the thing to help.
You’ve got your red-light therapy masks, collagen powders, “mommy” gummies, bath bombs, lip oils, “smart” water bottles, digital detox journals and manifestation planners. Don’t forget the promises of “Botox-like results” serums and “get your glow back” pink electrolyte powders.
You get the sense that advertisers can apply a “do it for Mom” label to pretty much anything because let’s face it: Motherhood sells.
And the reason for all of this is pretty transparent. And no, it’s not because these companies have a soft spot for their moms. It’s because they know where their bread is buttered.
Women make over 80% of household purchasing decisions. Advertisers know that building brand affinity among moms is absolutely essential to their bottom line. It’s why they spend time and resources identifying where moms are and then following them across the internet. I’m sure you’ve noticed it in your own social feeds, because it’s not even subtle.
What makes the Motherhood Industrial Complex so pernicious isn’t the fact that moms are being sold to — it’s the way they’re selling to us. As one Forbes how-to-guide put it: “Don’t sell to moms. Engage with them so your marketing reflects who they really are, not your brand’s idea of what a ‘mom’ should be.”
The Guilt Economy and the Empowerment Facade
The Motherhood Industrial Complex only works if companies convince us they’re on our side. And they do it in two main ways:
#1: The Guilt Economy
This strategy taps into the feeling that we’re struggling, overworked, and underappreciated (all of which are valid). But those challenges run deeper than any product can fix. The guilt economy offers us products to buy to paper over policy failures. It thrives on making moms feel that our exhaustion is a personal problem, not a systemic one, and that the right face mask, planner, or supplement might just solve it.
#2: The Empowerment Façade
The flip side of the same coin is when products dress themselves up in pseudo-feminism. Take Lean Cuisine’s 2018 campaign asking, “Can women have it all?” We can dismantle the premise of that question another time, but for now, we can agree that a low-calorie microwave meal probably isn’t qualified to answer it.
Some of these campaigns do have good intentions. Dove’s “Real Beauty” series, for example, has genuinely helped shift narratives. But let’s be clear: Dove and its parent company, Unilever, didn’t build a $6.5 billion brand purely out of altruism.
When companies pretend to be a champion for moms, it’s right to be skeptical. At best, they’re simply out of their depth and not capable of delivering the change we need. At worst, they’re preying on the fact that moms are a dominant consumer group.
Treat Yourself (Because Nobody Else Will)
The context matters here — a lot. As the holiday sales and gift guides arrive in the mail, the reality for moms out there is stark.
Child care is not currently affordable in any single U.S. state, according to the definition provided by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Paid family leave simply isn’t an option for 73% of U.S. workers. And as we recently covered, the gender pay gap is actually getting wider.
Society is failing us, and it all adds up. Moms are carrying the mental load of being the default parent and that can lead to feelings of exhaustion, frustration, guilt, and isolation.
Meanwhile, the burden to find solutions is still on all of us moms. When the Motherhood Industrial Complex invites you to “treat yourself,” the unspoken part of that proposition is that nobody else will.
It’s cruel and ironic that, during this season of giving, moms are the ones giving everything — time, labor, and emotional energy — while corporations cash in.
Motherhood shouldn’t be an industry. It should be an ecosystem that works for everyone. One that is built on care, not commerce. At the end of the day, we can’t buy our way out of broken systems. But we can fund the change that fixes them.
Action Center
Turn Purchasing Power into Policy Power
If you take nothing else away from everything above, it should be this: Moms wield enormous economic power in America. So let’s use it.
This year, skip the “mom hustle” starter kit. The most meaningful gift you can give moms is investing in the systems that actually support moms.
Here are two ways you can do that right now:
1. Uplift a Business That’s Doing Right by Moms: Reclaim your “mom power” by spotlighting and supporting mom-owned or mom-forward businesses that are actually redefining care. Head to this Instagram post and LinkedIn post to drop a comment shouting out a company you love — or discover others that are truly showing up for moms.
2. Invest in Movements That’re Actually Making Motherhood Sustainable: Motherhood shouldn’t require martyrdom. Together, we can build the kind of support systems that let moms breathe, rest, and care for themselves as fiercely as they care for everyone else. Donate to Moms First and help make a world where moms aren’t running on empty — they’re running the show.
Things to Read, Watch, and Listen to This Week
- Newsletter: No, Women Didn’t Ruin the Workplace. We Just Demand it Be Fixed. (Substack)
- Article: States are quietly cutting child care funding — and families are out of options (The 19th)
- TV: All Her Fault (Peacock)
- Book: Notes on Being a Man (Scott Galloway)
- Movie: Die My Love (Mubi)
Making Headlines
Check out what people are saying about Moms First in the news:
- Women didn’t ruin the workplace. They did change it—and that’s a conversation worth having (Fortune, MPW Daily)
It’s easy to feel like motherhood has been turned into a marketplace. But here’s the truth: moms have more power than any marketing budget. When we spend, share, and organize with intention, we change what this country values.
Let’s make care the new currency,
Reshma Saujani