If you’re new around here, you should know that Moms First has been working on a documentary about motherhood in America.
And today, I want to give you an update, because we’re nearing the finish line.
This project has been years in the making. It started with a feeling I could not shake. That something about how motherhood works in this country simply does not add up.
So we started digging. Listening to mothers. Connecting dots across history, culture, policy, and lived experience.
Now, after years of work, we’re wrapping production on the film.
And I will say this honestly: the timing of this has never felt more clear. The film does not just feel important. It feels urgent.
Because if you look at what is happening right now, you can feel the pressure building again. The expectations for moms are tightening and the conversation around motherhood is shifting in ways that feel deeply familiar.
A New Chapter for American Motherhood
Over the past year, we’ve seen a meaningful shift in how women and mothers are being talked about and supported in this country.
Just this week, it was hard to miss. The US fertility rate dropped again—this time to a historic low. Fewer American women are becoming mothers than ever before. And while parenthood should absolutely be a choice—and the decision to not have children is a valid one worthy of respect—too many parents are being priced out of parenthood.
The cost of raising a family continues to climb. In many parts of the country, child care now costs more than in-state college tuition. In some states, it exceeds 20 percent of a family’s income. And the US still does not offer federal paid family leave, making it one of the only industrialized nations without a national policy.
And against that backdrop, something else is happening.
Spend a few minutes scrolling on your phone, and you’ll see it—video after video, headline after headline, a steady stream of messages telling mothers who they should be and how they should live.
- “Stay home. Your kids are only young once. Presence is everything.”
- “Who can afford not to work? Staying home is a privilege and impossible for most.”
- “Be feminine, not feminist.”
- “Don’t abandon the career you fought for—your financial security depends on it.”
- “Don’t lose yourself to motherhood. Put self-care before everything else.”
These messages do not just coexist. They compete. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, motherhood becomes impossible to get right.
And in that competition, we begin to turn on each other. We question each other. We get defensive over our own choices. We judge.
All while the real question goes unasked: why is motherhood so hard in the first place?
If you’ve been following The Motherhood Lectures or reading past editions of this newsletter, you know this is not new. It’s a pattern that has repeated itself for generations.
Other countries have figured this out. Across much of Europe, paid leave, subsidized child care, and workplace protections are treated as basic infrastructure for families. In the US, we’ve had centuries to build something similar, and we have not.
That is not because the problem is unsolvable. It’s because we have been looking in the wrong direction.
And that is exactly what our film sets out to examine.
The Film
The film explores the culture wars surrounding American motherhood and why both the “girl boss” and “trad wife” labels ultimately distract us from the real issue: the lack of support for American families.
It looks at how mothers have been asked to take on more responsibility, more labor, and more expectation without the support to match, tracing how culture, policy, and workplace norms have reinforced one another to create a system that depends on mothers while simultaneously failing them.
What emerges is not a story about individual choices. It’s a story about a system.
And it raises a different possibility: what might change if mothers stopped seeing this as something to solve on their own, and started recognizing it as something we are experiencing together?
What You Made Possible
When we first shared this project back in December, we invited you to become Associate Producers of the film and help shape this story.
Thousands of you signed on and shared your stories through written submissions, voicemails, and videos.
Stories about postpartum darkness.
Rebuilding after divorce with nothing.
Being pushed out of jobs or unsupported at work.
Doing the impossible math of child care, over and over again.
Each story was different. Different lives, different paths, different moments of breaking and rebuilding.
And yet, when we stepped back, we could see the threads that connected them: how often moms were being asked to navigate the same impossible tradeoffs, how often they were left to figure things out on their own.
And what that made clear is this: This isn’t just personal. It’s systemic.
These stories have shaped this film and how we talk about motherhood, and they will continue to be shared because they deserve to be heard far beyond this community.
If you’ve already shared your story or supported this project, thank you.
And if you have been thinking about it, there is still time. We are accepting Associate Producer names for the film credits through April 30.
You can become one by making a donation to fund the film, sharing your story, or signing up to host a screening.
WRITE YOUR STORY | SUBMIT A VIDEO | LEAVE A VOICEMAIL
The American Motherhood Tour
As we produced the film, one question kept coming up: what happens after people watch the film?
Because this was never only about telling a story. It was about what that story could unlock.
So this summer, we’re launching the American Motherhood Tour.
We’ll premiere the film on June 15 in New York City, and then bring it to cities around the country including Chicago, Minneapolis, and San Francisco, alongside hundreds of community screenings across the country.
Already, mothers have signed up to host screenings in 47 states, along with D.C. and Puerto Rico. These grassroots screenings will kick off starting June 17.
If you have not signed up to host yet, it’s not too late. For those that have signed up, we’ll send you exclusive details next week with how to create your event and start inviting your crew.
These screenings are more than just watching the film together—they’re about creating spaces where moms can gather, see their experiences reflected, and begin to understand those experiences as part of something larger.
For too long, motherhood has been carried quietly—and it is in that quiet that this has been allowed to continue. We’ve been taught to look at each other instead of looking at the system that made this so hard.
But we don’t have to keep doing that.
Because when moms come together, stop blaming ourselves and each other, and start demanding something better, that’s when everything begins to shift.
Let’s change the future of American motherhood,
Reshma Saujani