Before we dive into this week’s topic, I want to start with what’s been fueling so many conversations inside our community lately.
At Moms First, we can feel it. The frustration. The urgency. The sense that the ground beneath us is shifting, and not in ways that make families feel safer or more supported. Moms are not interested in sitting quietly on the sidelines while decisions are made about our lives, our kids, and our futures.
That’s why we decided to do what we do best. We gathered the squad.
This Monday, we’re hosting Motherhood Live: The “Wine Mom” Label & Other Cons to Silence Moms. It’s a virtual event with women who have shaped culture, policy, and public debate, including Gloria Steinem, Ilana Glazer, Emily Oster, and Shannon Watts.
They know what it takes to turn frustration into impact, and what happens when moms organize instead of backing down. It’s going to be honest, energizing, and yes, a little bit epic. We really hope you can join us.
Mocked, Minimized, Mobilizing: The “Wine Mom” Moment
If you’ve been reading the news lately, you’ve probably noticed one phrase showing up again and again: wine moms. It’s not just internet chatter. Last week, a Fox News opinion column used it to frame moms as a threat to law and order and just yesterday a New York Times wine critic discussed “wine moms” as a cultural phenomenon worth unpacking.
Depending on who’s talking, “wine moms” is used as a punchline, a warning, or a way to poke fun at moms who are politically engaged. There’s a lot of sneering about what happens when moms get “too loud” or “too organized,” or when we take our frustrations beyond our group chats and into the public square.
But the reality is this: when the media can’t stop talking about moms, it’s usually because moms are showing up and exerting influence.
Last week I wrote on Substack about why this wine mom narrative exists, and the response was immediate. Because most of us can see through the surface-level jokes to what’s really going on here. This isn’t about wine. It’s about power and presence.
Moms Have Been Here Before
History shows that backlash rarely comes out of nowhere. It tends to arrive at the exact moment women begin to accrue real economic or political power.
We’ve seen this pattern before. During the rise of second-wave feminism, women began entering college and the workforce at historic rates, fueled in part by structural shifts like Title IX and expanded access to higher education. Women weren’t just talking about equality, they were organizing, voting, and demanding change. And almost immediately, the backlash followed.
Leaders like Gloria Steinem (who will also be joining our call on Monday!) were dismissed as “man-haters” or radicals, a convenient way to avoid engaging with what women were actually asking for and to undermine their growing influence.
What’s happening now with the “wine mom” label follows that same script.
Today, women earn the majority of college degrees in the US and vote at higher rates than men, particularly in presidential elections. That turnout advantage has held steady for decades and often hovers around four percentage points. Women also show up in midterm elections and across racial and educational groups at higher rates. This means our collective voice carries real weight, especially when elections are close.
That influence extends beyond politics. Women are also economic decision-makers in ways that shape entire markets. Across categories of U.S. spending, women control or influence 85% of consumer purchases. When moms organize how they vote, where they spend, or what they demand from institutions, people notice.
So it’s no coincidence that organizing by mothers has repeatedly triggered resistance. Labels like “wine mom” serve a familiar purpose. They minimize, mock, and attempt to contain women at the very moment our power becomes visible. This isn’t because moms are suddenly political. It’s because history shows that when women organize and gain influence, backlash is rarely far behind.
Organizing Doesn’t Start Perfectly
We hear from moms all the time in emails, DMs, and after events: you’re paying attention, reading the headlines, and feeling fired up. You want to do more than vent on social media or watch from the sidelines. You want to advocate for the change you want to see. You just aren’t sure where to begin.
That uncertainty makes sense. Most of us were never taught how to be activists. For me, as a daughter of refugees, I just knew that I wanted to serve the underserved, to give a voice to those who couldn’t speak up. I didn’t have the perfect message, or the right credentials, or endless free time. But in reality, most movements don’t start that way at all.
One of the clearest examples of that is Moms Demand Action’s founder, Shannon Watts, who will be joining us for Monday’s conversation. Shannon didn’t wait to be an expert before she started. She started because she was paying attention, she was angry about inaction, and she decided to speak up.
Over the years, she’s shared practical advice for moms who feel the pull toward action but don’t know what the first step looks like:
- Start before you feel ready. You don’t need to know everything to begin. Most people learn by doing, adjusting as they go, and building momentum along the way.
- Find your people. Movements don’t happen in isolation. Connecting with others who share your values makes the work feel possible and sustainable.
- Use your story. Your lived experience as a mother is not a weakness. Sharing your story is often the most powerful tool you have to change minds and move conversations forward.
- Begin small and stay consistent. One action won’t fix everything, but small, repeated actions add up faster than you think.
And for moms who are ready to take that first step, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Organizations like MoveOn exist to make action accessible. Whether it’s starting a petition, joining a campaign, or lending your voice to an issue you care about, there are simple tools designed to help turn concern into motion.
What We Do With This Moment
So when we talk about “wine moms,” what’s really at stake is this: people are noticing moms’ power, and some of that attention is rooted in anxiety. That tells us something important. Moms are showing up in politics, economics, culture, and community life in ways that matter.
As Jennifer Weiss-Wolf said in The Contrarian, “Brave women, bold mothers, wine and all, are truly our nation’s institutional spine and moral backbone.”
That’s exactly why we’re gathering on Monday for Motherhood Live: The “Wine Mom” Label & Other Cons to Silence Moms. Not to celebrate a stereotype, but to reclaim the narrative around motherhood and activism.
It’ll be a space to talk honestly about what it means to show up, to use the tools at our disposal, and to support each other as we push for the change we want to see.
In Case You Missed It
- Become an Associate Producer on Our Upcoming Motherhood Documentary: We’re inviting members of the Moms First community to help bring a powerful new film about American motherhood to life. As an Associate Producer, you’ll have your name in the credits, early access to the film, and a real role in shaping a cultural moment that puts mothers at the center of the story. Learn more.
- In NYC on February 12? Join Us for The Motherhood Lectures:
We’re filming The Motherhood Lectures, a live, in-person event where I’ll teach how motherhood in America has been shaped by politics, culture, and economics. Register for the event.
We don’t need more jokes or labels about “wine moms.” We need to reckon with what happens when mothers organize, why that so often triggers backlash, and whether society is finally ready to listen instead of dismiss.
Cheers,
Reshma Saujani