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This week’s edition of The First Word is all about fatherhood. I know, I know — that’s slightly unexpected for an organization literally named Moms First.

But here’s the thing: We can’t create a world where moms thrive without recognizing the essential role dads play, too. When fathers are empowered to show up fully — at home, at work, and in their communities — it benefits everyone.

That’s why next month, we’re hosting the Future of Fatherhood Summit in partnership with Equimundo (More details below — and yes, you’re invited to attend in-person or via livestream). 

The whole idea is to bring together policymakers, researchers, business leaders, advocates, and cultural icons — alongside moms and dads — to discuss every aspect of modern fatherhood: at home, at work, in policy, and in our culture.

Dads today are spending more time caregiving, taking paid leave to spend time with their families, and challenging outdated ideas of masculinity — but our systems and culture haven’t caught up.

The Future of Fatherhood Summit will convene a group of experts and changemakers to examine the shifts already underway and work together to rewrite the script on fatherhood. We hope you’ll join us.

 
Why Supporting Dads Is a Moms Issue

Let’s start by being honest about the challenges men — especially young men, or the next generation of dads — face right now. The New York Times published data this week that shows boys and young men falling behind in education, in mental health, in starting careers, and even moving out on their own. And a study by our partner Equimundo found that two-thirds of men 18 to 23 say they feel like no one really knows them and that there’s a profound lack of cultural agreement on what it means to be a “good man.” 

All of it has created a vacuum in which too many men feel directionless and even isolated.

Enter the “Manosphere” — the proliferation of online voices from podcasts and blogs to forums and pretty much every social media platform. These people are building followings while promoting a skewed view of masculinity that sometimes veers into outright misogyny with some advocating for a return to rigid, outdated gender roles.

In many ways, this message is poison — equal parts incorrect and self-defeating. But there’s no doubt that the clarity of their worldview helps it sell. These voices have captured the attention of a rapidly growing audience of young men.

That’s why it’s urgent to start a competing national dialogue around masculinity, about men’s mental health, about child care and boys’ development, about what it means to be a dad, and how we can build a support system for dads that helps them be better parents.

The good news is dads are already starting to step up. A new wave of fathers want to be more involved than their own dads were. They’re showing up for diaper duty, school drop-offs, bedtime routines — and they want more from their role in the family than just bringing home a paycheck.

Fathers Have Evolved But The Systems Haven’t

Like so many other issues, the COVID crisis provided an inflection point. Since lockdown afforded more dads the opportunity to spend quality time with their kids, their share of the caregiving load has been on the rise. Analysis by the Care Board at the University of Kansas found that the average millennial dad spent 2.5 more hours caregiving each week in 2023 than he did in 2019.

Here’s the hold-up: Our system just isn’t built for this shift in fatherhood. And it’s a cultural problem as much as it is a policy problem.

For one, the myth that a man’s identity and worth is tied up in being the family breadwinner is still far too pervasive. In fact, our work environments perpetuate it, with most companies treating caregiving as a “mom issue.” That helps explain why just 27% of private-sector workers have access to paid paternity leave. And even those who can take it don’t take full advantage. Even when the opportunity to take leave is equal, women are five times more likely to take paid leave than men. 

Moms First and McKinsey recently published a report revealing that many dads aren’t taking the paid leave they’re entitled to — leaving billions of dollars on the table and missing out on once-in-a-lifetime moments of early fatherhood.

One obvious solution is a national paid leave policy for all parents, finally bringing the United States in line with the rest of the modern world. Let’s absolutely fight like hell to make that happen, but until we get there, we need a lot more flexibility from employers to let men be parents.

And we need more cultural representation of dads doing dad things. When we see more TV dads at pediatrician’s appointments or sitting in the stands at gymnastics, that helps shift society’s view of what caregiving looks like and helps dismantle the notion that moms are permanent default parents.

Modern Parenthood Requires Modern Fatherhood

That brings me back to why Moms First is organizing an event around fatherhood. This is in no way a step away from the issues moms face. To the contrary, we’re building a bigger table and doubling down on rebuilding connections that have been lost or atrophied over time — among men and women, moms and dads, and, yes, the organizations advocating for them.

So much of what has gone wrong in our communities stems from being isolated from one another, siloed and unable to break out of our bubbles. This Summit is an opportunity to rebuild connections while coming together to develop solutions that are long overdue for moms and dads.

Because no matter what you hear from the manosphere, this isn’t a zero-sum game.

Supporting moms and supporting dads go hand in hand: when dads show up, moms get to rest, heal, innovate, and lead. Shared responsibility makes stronger families, who raise children who believe both parents share the physical and mental load of caregiving.

That’s how we arrive at true gender equity.

The Future of Fatherhood Summit is a first for us, but it’s a signal that moms aren’t in this fight alone. It’s sure to be a day none of us will forget, and I hope you’ll be a part of it.

 
So what are you doing on Thursday, June 5?

Check out the full program for the Future of Fatherhood Summit. Some of our speakers include Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation; Joe Gonzales, the founder of Brooklyn Stroll Club; Dr. Becky Kennedy, author and founder of Good Inside; and Michael Bush, CEO of Great Place to Work. 

There are two ways to participate:

  • Moms First Survey: What issues do you care about? What content do you enjoy reading? Your responses help us better serve you. Take our brief survey. We’re just 25 responses shy of our goal and you can help us reach it today.
  • Movie: Friendship (A24)
  • Book: Women Living Deliciously (Florence Given)

 
Check out what people are saying about Moms First in the news:

Thanks for following along with me this week and helping us rewrite the rules so all parents can show up, care deeply, and raise the next generation together.

I’m so proud to have you a part of this movement. We’ll see you at the Summit.

 
Here’s to building a bigger table,
Reshma Saujani